For a season, I had grown discouraged and "fainted" regarding my music, for to be honest I published, and published again. I was getting older and older too, even though my music was recorded at my younger age. I only knew a few people, and no one would share my links or spread my music to their social media, so everything stood still…not many people visiting the music sites to stream my songs. So I quit! I felt I had failed…God.
So I Gave Up! …Let my music and journalism endeavors DIE, you could say. I didn't think I would pick it up ever again, to be honest. I resigned ASCAP as a music publisher, took all my music down, i.e. out of distribution, and took my Clare Blume and Beth Smith Music websites down. I don't think anyone even noticed! (sigh)
Since mainstream "Christian" music usually always flows in the direction of "people toward God and Christ", I had continuous questions: What am I going to do with this spiritual gift, which is music flowing from "God and Christ to the people"? Why did the Lord keep giving me music that "wasn't for me", yet didn't have a "genre" out there? I was facing things like His instrumentals, full of anointing to bring to men God's peace, only being able to be published under a New Age genre in internet stores, when they were given as soaking music to usher people into the presence of God!
I really was at my wit's end, yet wanted, with all my heart, to be a faithful steward of what God had been putting into my hands.
I got to the end of my "self". I didn't know what else to do to market or get the music heard or my blogs read.
I therefore stopped and stayed still. I was tired of striving. I became weary of well doing. I just wanted to be alone with the Lord again. I felt secure in his love. Yet I didn't want him to keep giving me stuff for His People, if I'm to be honest…for I no longer knew what to do with what He gave.
But then…
In recent weeks, I went to prayer, because I'd keep noticing a person here or there, on Facebook or in person, that could really have used the wisdom of one of the songs God had given me, or the knowledge revealed from the Spirit in one of my blog posts. It was torment to me, then, that I couldn't easily direct them to these spiritual resources.
Then, the Lord disclosed this verse to me:
I realized, when He gave Galatians 6:9 above, and then He whispered Phil 2:13 to me: "I work in you both to will and to do of my good pleasure", that I needed to get all my music files pulled off my home computer, where they weren't doing anyone any good at all, and get them out there again. I knew I was giving no opportunity to the Lord to have a song or two discovered by someone He might desire to speak to through the music, when each song title was "just data", and not something He could speak through, by their "hearing". Faith comes "by hearing" and "hearing by the Word of God", so my hard work then began to once again make available the music and articles the Holy Spirit had given, for God's people. He instructed my blog articles (posts) to be put into a book, and given the title, “Receive From Me". I'm working on it.
I heard in my spirit, Jesus's declaration: "The words I SPEAK, they are SPIRIT and they are LIFE." (John 6:63) He, I know, spoke the Words running throughout my music...and even his instrumental melodies were a language of spirit and life spoken without words. And all the articles I had written, I knew the Spirit of God initiated. I was immediately empowered!
I have been up, around the clock, working tirelessly during my days, to compile my book in eBook and print book form, and to upload all my music again. This meant uploading my wav files in the wee hours of the morning (2 to 6 a.m.) for my data allowance ran out, and I was being robbed by token purchases. I'm happy to report, I have survived the all-nighters. LOL I'm in the final stretch, awaiting my final proof (I hope), for the book release, hopefully this month. Glad that as a person gets older, they can get by on less sleep! (smile).
Now, my “Receive From Me” Website goes live! My music is no longer available anywhere else but on this site. I am providing less expensive downloads than if you'd get them through an internet storefront, where they had previously been. So please share my site with others so they can get the free streaming or the lower cost downloads.
He has put within me the desire that He be focused on, no matter what happens now. I liken myself unto the boy giving to Jesus "the lunch given him" of the five loaves and two fishes. Jesus took it "in his hands" and gave it to "His disciples" who distributed the food to the masses. Jesus was the one "doing the multiplying", with them coming back to him to "get more" for the people. In my case, the music and the books featured on this site, which are indeed spiritual food from Christ, meant to be nourish hungry people.
By letting it all DIE, the Lord showed me my own motive was and is that HE IS HEARD. I have peace knowing I am an old lady now, with nothing to prove in regard to my musicianship, looks, writing skills, etc. I only need be faithful to the Spirit's leading. I absolutely know my own weakness, and that my music style may not be for everyone, but I know the messages God has given are! …for everyone who'd care to hear or see what He has given through me, that is. Receive From Me-Exhortations from the Spirit.
I overcame INTIMIDATION, a spirit, not from God, that is affecting many in the body of Christ! I overcame FEAR, a spirit that paralyzes us with knowledge of own weakness until it is exchanged for His Strength! I overcame SHAME, a spirit too, that magnifies our own failures before they're overcome by God's love and acceptance. It was a painful process. But the Holy Spirit was and is faithful! And He brought me out of crippling despair that had bound me for a time. Pressing in to the Lord, amidst my own personal storm, has enabled me now to go forward. I still suffer with a physical disease that affects my body, which gives me chronic pain 24/7, but with your prayers agreed with mine, I believe even that will one day be overcome in Christ. Until healing manifests…although I am humbled by lipedema lymphedema, for it affects my vanity regarding looks and acceptance, I remain my Beloved's, and He is mine! Amen?!
I am believing, now, that this music has always been 'for such a time as this', and that that perhaps is why I was a "perceived failure" before, when I wasn't. I was faithful. But maybe not in faith… at least not in persevering faith. There is a difference! I am now in faith that THIS TIME the Lord will take His Words and His Voice through the lyrics and books, and bear a harvest of both souls for the Kingdom, and disciples who will be devoted in all things to Christ.
I believe there has been a void in the church, as far as discipleship goes...i.e. teaching new believers just what living in the Kingdom of God is to be like, and how we are to live once saved. I need you to share, using the share buttons throughout this website, for this instruction in righteousness to take place. So please, if a song or album's message ministers "to you", I ask that you, in turn, minister to someone else's heart, via social media with "a share" of that message.
You can even share the entire website by cutting and pasting this url: https://receivefromme.com. Remember, your contacts can stream full-tracks, completely free, so they can receive the full message in each song, and they need not buy anything, even though there is opportunity to add a song to their song library via a 50-cent download purchase on this site. You yourself are "evangelizing" and "ministering" while sharing! And, you will therefore share in the eternal rewards of whatever is accomplished by God in hearts and lives, because it going out "from you" to "your own network" of friends and family.
Years ago God showed me a huge fishing net, made up of His people connected. God's people form "the net" which then, WE pull together and pull in a great catch of fishes (people) for the Kingdom. Oh yes, didn't the Lord Jesus say, "Follow me, and I will make you Fishers of Men?" (smile)
Thanks for reading this start-up-again testimony, LOL…And for praying, for sharing the music, and for just loving me, as I love you!! As I write this, I realize maybe some of you have also been given "dreams-visions-purpose" from the Lord, that He has had you let die too. Yet your love for Christ has not waivered, has it? Let me, then, be a role model, for you to believe again too! Rise up, brothers and sisters, and do what the Lord has laid upon your heart to do! Don't give up! Okay?!
It's time for all of our dry bones to live! Amen?!
Ezekiel 37:1-10
He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.
Prayer and being in God's Presence, just to enjoy him, and to have no agenda of my own, is what I can testify has brought my own dry bones back to life! Praise God! …It may be that the sinews, tendons, muscles, and flesh have yet to come on me fully, but I'm at least standing up again in what my calling has always been. I know I have pure motives energizing me and that I want God to get all the glory, no matter what happens. It's not about how people will respond, it's how I'm just doing what I'm told. I'm obeying, in faith.
We, never, are too old! Too dead, in our works. Do you hear?
So friends, praying is something for you and I to do…and His words will come to pass: "I will make breath enter you and you will come to life."
It is TIME...to "redeem the time"! (smile)
I bless you all in Jesus' name!
And may God glorify Himself in this hour through all of us!